the leaving song

So this is one of the lyrics that touched me...its a bit sad but the meaning is there...

"The Leaving Song" by AFI

Walked away, heard them say

"Poison hearts will never change,

walk away again

"Turned away in disgrace

Felt the chill upon my face

cooling from within

It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky

When you're staring at the cracks

It's hard to notice what is passing by

with eyes lowered

You...

walked away, heard them say

"Poisoned hearts will never change,

walk away again"

All the cracks,

they lead right to me

And all the cracks will crawl right through me

All the cracks, they lead right to me

And all the cracks will crawl right through me,

and I fell apart

As I... walked away,

heard them say

"Poisoned hearts will never change"

Walked away again

Turned away in disgrace

Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within

The Forbidden Fruit Tastes The Sweetest!

Romeo and Juliet two star-crossed lovers who are loins of two foes. Noah and Allie (the Notebook) A wealthy upper class girl and a hardworking lower class boy who's love fights status. Satin and Christian (Moulin Rouge) A prostitute and penniless writer in constant battle to preserve their love. Edward and Bella a vampire who has fallen deeply in love with his most desirable prey.What do these great love stories have in common? Forbidden Love. A love so instantly bound, with such intensity that many would see it as lust. But in fact its its love in its purest form. The improbability of this great love's triumph is what captures our hearts and entrances our minds. The uuncertainty of the lovers ability to make it through all of the surrounding conflicts plays on our emotions and makes yearn for more. The best love stories of all time contain forbidden love...here is a little excerpt something that I'm working on its a romantic story called forbidden love.

Forbidden Love By Jennifer Imparato

Suddenly the spinning stopped and her body dropped limp towards the hard pavement that awaited her. In that same instant, as if out of thin air, he had caught her. An inch above what would have been a harsh welcoming from the cold ground. She laid there for what seemed like forever in his strong valiant arms. Streams of water flowing from her eyes without command. Just seconds ago her body was lifelessly ready to take its place as another corpus on the ground. But now has transformed into livewire of emotion. She had never opened her watery eyes to view this hero’s face for she didn't need his face to verify, his scent alone validated his identity. His unique scent of honey and flowers that danced in her nose and swirled flavor onto her tongue. It was a scent unlike any other for it was the most inhumanely delicious scent that with just the smallest amount made her mouth water and yearn for more. He swooped her up with ease as she buried her tears into his chest. Her long blonde hair flew in the wind swirling around her head as he carried her across the crowded pavement at what must have been a fast past but in his arms felt like floating. Lying there against him she had felt an intense magnetic connection that was unfamiliar. It was as if she NEEDED him. She felt like he completed the missing half of her heart that had minutes ago been the cause of her choice to give up on life altogether. She needed him as if he was the sun behind the stormy cloud of life she had so wished to leave. Her mind spewed thousands of unanswered questions that continued to raise the pace of her unsettled heart. How did he know where she would be? Why did he care? What could he possibly want with her when he could easily have any he desired? Suddenly as if an answer to her thoughts he slowly touched his upper lip to her lifeless lower lip. He held it there while his sweet floral breath was tickling her nose and filling her body with adrenaline. He then gently laid her on a huge canopy bed. She should have been afraid; she should have noticed how inhumanly short the trip into his bedroom took. Instinct should have filled her with shock that she had gone from stranger to lover without one word of conversation. But like a dream this god-like man enchanted her mind. This angel who had just saved her from the pits of hell and brought her soul to the heaven that she never before saw as a reality. Until now. She opened her eyes for the first time since her fall to get a better view of her heaven.

Here is a little forbidden kiss from my movie...Twilight

My Poem

Here is a semi sad poem I wrote this weekend alone with my mind ha ha well enjoy...


Trials of the Hopeless Romantic

Alone. Left out like a used toy hidden in the darkness under a child's bed. Empty. Body limp with exhaustion from the games of love impostors.Tired. Living an internal battle between the heart and the mind.Confused. Is my heart punching in my chest forcing me to reminisce of the warmth when my life was once shared. Defeated. Is my mind for time never healed but further decayed the wounds.Drained. With the inner voice screaming at my hopeless romantic but reality taking breathtaking blows. Weak. wondering if a rusted heart can be polished to shine again. Ssuppressed. So much passion locked inside like a beautiful flower who's bud wont release.Worthless. wasting time staring into the cracks letting the world pass by.Stubborn.Living life loveless for though the fight to find love is pain stricken, the prize is life changing. Foolish. For these legs will keep walking down this path until Love is once again injected into my veins and sedates my pain.

I have also added a song that I cant stop singing I LOVE it! its an old disco song called Romeo and Juliet...they actually use words from the play including the entire prologue..enjoy it!!!For your personal hopeless Romantic...Jeni

Love story part 3:Jesse

The Heart Breaker
I had was on my way for an interview at Fred Astaire dance studios. That was when I first saw him. He was gorgeous. His hair was nicely don’t he had on a pair of fitted dress slacks and a nice button up shirt that was a couple buttons undone. He spent the interview talking to me in a casual normal voice explaining things but stumbling a bit. I kept a strong contact with him to show my interest…in what he was saying…lol.. he was funny and kind and after asking and answering my questions he took me out on the dance floor to try some steps. I must say I was definitely a bit flustered because as if his looks were not perfect enough but then he can move his body better then I have EVER seen a man move. His shoulders and arms strong and his hips that would roll with each note the song played. I was speechless and a bit clumsy because it was hard to concentrate. I had already known I got the job because the owner of the place was brothers with my mom’s best friend/ my sisters godmother. That was who told me to go there in the first place because of my love for dance. After my interview I came in every day during the summer for training with different employees that were not teaching. I made sure to always look my best and try my hardest to dance up to par. It had never crossed my mind that Jesse would like me although I would flirt often and pay close attention to him during staff meetings. It was harmless flirting and I was never about to fool myself that it could be more. I mean I came to find out that Jesse along with the daughter of the guy my mom knew (her name is Jackie) were the REAL owners of that studio and the guy my mom knew was owner of the franchise for the Illinois region. In other words Jesse was my boss. He was an incredible dance / dance partner to Jackie(who had been dancing and wining title since she was 4). He had been on dancing with the stars, and he was 29 years old. What the hell would he see in me? He would never look past the 10year age difference even though to me age is a number. Not to mention the fact that he once dated Jackie until she cheated on him with his younger brother who was another great dance instructor at their studio. Well he ended up SOMEHOW liking me..He text me one night that went something like this…”you like me don’t you” me “umm why do you ask” “this is bad we cant” me” what are you talking about can’t what” “I mean I want to “ me “ ok then do it” “then how about we meet up sometime maybe for a movie or something” me “ ok well let me know”…… I was in shock this whole convo happened at like 3am and I was floating to the thought that the one man I thought would never take a second glance at me just asked me out…and out of NOWHERE!..well we met up that weekend after work which was like 11pm. I ran home to put on a cute dress and get all dolled up. He came to the door all dressed nice and we sat at this bar/restaurant and talked. He was so uncomfortably shy and I was confidently outgoing it was so strange. I felt so in control. The end of the night he took me out of the car and we talked and walked around my neighborhood. Finally upon leaving he walked me to the door and kissed me. Our kiss was soooo perfectly blended, You know when you just kiss someone and it worked so nicely it was like no one had to try and yet it was so passionate. Well Jesse and I fell for each other we started off keep it a secret from everyone and meeting after work in the parking lot of a near by restaurant or whatever just to give each other a kiss and hug that filled the whole rest of the work day with tension until that moment. He formally asked me out and I exactly accepted. We had SOOOOOOO many good times together and a most unforgettable fourth of July! Finally he told Jackie and the owners after we were seeing each other for 1 month and are serious. Well the work tension got almost unbearable but the way we felt had no limits and we were both willing to fight …and we did. I was the MOST MOST romantic guy ever! I mean jerry was the most chivalrous and passionate but Jesse was just a romancer. He was an artist which made it even better when he romanced me. He not only could dance but he played the guitar and sang/wrote his own music (one song that was for me), He was a painter and one day took head shots of me and eventually painted my portrait. He had always just painted the women in his head but hew wanted to try to do one from a real photo. (I was the first) . He would come home from big dance competitions early to come see me and take me out to dinner. For example one night he called me at like 9pm unexpectedly and tyo me to hurry to get dressed he is taking me out and he is coming straight from the airport. He came to my door with 2 roses in his hand and all dressed up and handsome. Then he took me to pete millers steak house to eat and for dessert ordered every one of the desserts. Things like that. He lived in lidenherst which was by Wisconsin and I would drive an hour there to stay with him and then an hour back home for work. He would light candles and music the whole bit. He was the one to ask to meet my family too! SO my mom invited him for dinner. He came with me to both of my sisters weddings and I can honestly say that I could have married him. He was in everyway the man that I could see being happy with and kids and all. I was with him for almost a year which is not THAT long I mean I had been in longer relationships but its just one of those things that you can just feel it. I would drive with him to Wisconsin to meet his family and go with him to his Sunday mass. We were wonderful , he was wonderful..until it all went to shit. His dad had been sick of 14years from a liver transplant and his dad was hitting his worse time yet. I had seen him get progressively worse as we would visit to the point that the last time we went to visit his dad could not go to the bathroom or sit up in bed or even eat. That was such a depressing visit. Jesse was a mess I cried in the backyard with his guitar as I tended to his father and then went out to comfort him. I was ALWAYS understanding and his rock when he needed me. Well Jesse became more distant and on a wed called me over. I had already knew that this was the break up but he insisted that I come over anyway. SO I did and he felt guilty saying that I’m more into now then I is because he is not the same person anymore and I deserve better. Blah blah and then he got all upset and said I didn’t want to do this because he was afraid I would stop talking to him, and I told him im not a child and I will not react like that, then I got to talking about his dad. He drank a FULL bottle of black label and I was afraid he was going to over do it to the point that he would die or get seriously ill so I forced him to stop (he had been drinking heavily a lot). I through all the drinks into the sink and helped drag him upstairs into his bed. ( at this point he sold his house and moved into an apartment that was 5min from where I lived. I pulled him into bed heartbroken but suffocating my personal feeling to tend to his needs. He was talking nonsense and I rub his back until he fell asleep. I stayed up all night with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart for I had realized that my vision of happiness would end when I walked out and close the door. I looked around the room at the easel I had spent $300 dollars on as part of his xmas gift with my portrait still being colored in. I thought about all the wonderful times at his old house…breakfast in bed ,barbeques just me and him, movies, talks, his playing the guitar, our slow dances..just everything and even now talking about it makes my eyes water. I could not believe that all that we had built for 10mnths was about to end. I will never to this day know what might have been. Well at about 8am and still awake I knew he was sound asleep so I slide his head off my chest and onto a pillow gave him a soft final kiss and whispered goodbye with one more long glance at the man that might have been. He will never know any of that happened it will just be another moment locked into my heart His dad died 3 days later and he called my the morning of. I was not only in shock with the news but in shock the he called me..we had not spoken since that night and I was happy that in such a trying time he would ask me to be there. My father died so I related to his emotions. Well anyways after everything he kept me hanging on a prayer of getting back together for 2 months ( that was our song “hanging on a prayer” bon Jovi..it was his idea)He would say he was depressed and lonely I would come over to the rescue and we would 4/5 of the times make love. If you did catch the hint..he was using me so finally I promised myself I would keep faith until the date of what would have been our year anniversary and if we were still the same I would just befriends. (I knew that he knew our anniversary because when we first started dating he gave me 6dozen roses on our 2month anniversary and I didn’t even know that was the date haha) 2 months later things didn’t change and so I told him that we would just be friends and his reply “ I will always love you” UGHHHHHHH…Well this story is already way longer then I wanted it to be and I left a lot out so ill get to the point..eventually I found out that during our last couple weeks she had cheated on me…with a virgin who worked in our industry. I was sooooooooooo pained you have no idea. All that love bullshit and he was just using me? After all that I did and gave to him. I was not clingy or needy or distant or anything. I was just loving, caring and passionate. HOW can you do that to someone ?? How can you hurt the one girl who never hurt you , who helped you in the most trying time of your life!! She told me he lit candles and played her a song and then he told her how hurt he was about his father so she believed he was sincere. DO you believe that crap….I kept it a secret for 8 months and just recently told him I know. He said a bunch of crap about how he didn’t want to hurt me but that he is not the say when he was with me I had all of him and all of him is not here anymore etc…Jesse broke my heart and since then I have been single for the past 9months…waiting to find the one man who will remind me how to love….Whether I find this man or not, telenovelas are my outlet to make me feel the love that I am lacking within my personal life kind of like temporarily filling the void with great stories of true love.

Love stroy part 2:Jerry

The Impossible Love
I went on spring break my senior year to Cancun. Me and Josh were going through our first breakup so this vacation was JUST what I needed to have some fun with my best friend. It was all girls me my mom my best friend, her mom, her sister(2years younger), and her sisters best friend. Let me tell you I had the most fun I have EVER had. We did a lot of drinking of course but me being the activity girl was sooo active. I mean I was playing tug of war, water polo, VOLLEYBALL, and participating in all the crazy events. I was the only girl who asked to do the iron man challenge that was an obstacle course with pushups and all were 3 men competed. I was 3 sec away from winning but I’m not a beer chugger lol. Any way that’s where I met Jerry. Jerry was the manager of the entertainment staff. He was tall, dark, and handsome! He was 27 years old and of course 100% Mexican fun outgoing and athletic. I met Jerry the second day I was there and we did everything together after that. He joined in on all the activities not just the ones he like so that way he could do them with me. When I didn’t do one he would come and eat lunch with me. He was sooo sweet. Every night was a show from the entertainment staff and then clubbing until 4am. Then I would wake up at 9 and jump up to get ready for more sun. One of the nights Jerry saw me sitting in the crowd and walked through everyone to come give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He would stare at me with these eye that would just penetrate right through me I swear. And his smile…UUUHHH I loved that smile it was sooo big and shiny compared to his darker complexion. The next night he pulled me up into the show to be part of it ! I was to act like a sexy girl who gets caught by her dad making out with a guy. It was so funny. Then after the show there was a live band playing music in the lobby. Well Jerry requested a salsa because he knew it was my favorite and danced with me right in the lobby. He was such a gentlemen. I have yet to meet a man that can match his chivalry and courting of a woman. He was kind to all of my family ( my best friend and her family is more like my second family). He was always so sweet to my mom which was so important to me because my mom is my world. He even took us out to this club on the outside of Cancun that had authentic Latin music not the American stuff all the other clubs played. I mean he left the other entertainers to tend to the other people so he could take us out. My last night he went up to my mom and asked her permission to take me to dinner. She said yes for she trusted him( my mom has always had great judgment) and she knew its what I wanted). That was one of the most unforgettable nights of my life. I mean roses and romantic words. Walks on the beach. It was just beautiful. Now most would say ok Jeni but that’s his job how do you know he is not that way with everyone. BECAUSE I KNOW. WE maintained contact all the next year texts, calls, e-mails, facebook whatever it took. The letters were all beautiful just little reminders of the one man who made me feel like a woman. Cherished and respected. Well last July over a year after we met, I went to Puerto Vallarta. He had already informed me that he got promoted to a higher pay at a different resort in Los Cabos. Well before I left for Vallarta I told him that if he could come visit I would love to see him..(mind you before this he had offered to send me tickets to go see him in México) You see he does not have a Visa thus he cannot come to the states. He has even been to Europe just not the US. Well he did not respond to I went two days later to Vallarta. Upon arriving I got a text from him asking if I arrived and that he told his work that he has business to fix so he needed an emergency leave. That gave him 3 days to spend with me and he would fly in 2 days. I was ecstatic. It was just my mom me and my little sister this time. Well he ended up getting a hotel and taking me out ever y day/night. He was passionately wonderful and I was addicted to the way he treated me. Jerry and I still talk but he still can’t come here and its hard for me to go there. If me and Jerry one day end up together then I would be soo happy but I am not waiting for him to let other love pass me by. Because if we were meant to be we WILL be. But if not then Jerry will always remind me of how a woman should be treated and how it feels to really be loved/what I really want from a man…To feel cherished and to be respected. I had slowly lost or just slightly forgotten that feeling when Jesse came along….

My Love story part one Josh

Ok so this blog was inspired by my personal narrative. I am beginning to understand why I am such a romantic. Upon writing my narrative I found it almost impossible to fit 10+ page examples on the different influences love has had on my life into a paragraph. The reason went beyond the fact that I ALWAYS write a lot (Mickey I love you for reading it anyway xo) but its because I am truly passionate about this topic. As you may know its love that made me decide to pursue acting specifically Spanish soaps. Since love is so big to me, RELATIONSHIPS have always had a big impact on the person I am.. There are 3 men who have really helped shape me. So I figured I would write about these men to you all and maybe get some feedback.
The high school sweetheart
Josh and I met when I was in 7th grade . He was a year older and of course that increased my attraction. We had never known each other, not even each other’s names. I had seen him at a big dance we would have once a month that would combine all the schools in the area. When I saw him there I recognized him from seeing him in the hallways because he was the only one with spiky black hair with blond tips. That was how I would always spot him. He was a football player, baseball player and undefeated wrestler and I a cheerleader and volleyball player. Without giving to much detail I subtly would flirt with him on the 3 rare occasions that we actually bumped into each other. One very random day Josh, I later came to find out that was his name, wanted to ask me out! So after school he did the “um I was wondering..do you want to date?” and I did the “Yea sure!” later that day my friend called me to ask if it was ok for Josh to have my number because he wanted to call me haha. We were young and soooo “in love” We did everything together! He became my best friend and the one person I could always count on. I went to all of his game and he went to as many of mine that did not clash with his meets. We were amazingly inseparable for two people that dated without even knowing first names. Watching the notebook sparks that memory of us enjoying eachother because we were that same giddy couple. It lasted for 4 years. After the 4th year Josh started to change. He quit all his sports to do baseball but then didn’t make the team is junior year and gave up on it altogether. He had always been a bit jealous but now he had become the worst jealous guy I have ever met. I would avoid making eye contact with guys to avoid a fight. His fights were horrible he would yell and scream without caring who was around..at our dances, sixflags, bbash is didn’t matter and I would weakly apologize just to get him to stop making a scene. Just to give a small example on the fights. During our homecoming dance I had my mom pin Josh’s flower as I always did because I did not know how nor did I want to poke him. Well later that night after some hardcore dancing my friend came up to me with her date. He asked me to fix the flower because it would not stay on and she couldn’t do it. So I said I would try. OH Josh blew up. Yelling at me for doing this guys flower but not his. He made me cry and the night was ruined. It got progressively worse and he would call me names and punch hole in walls. He obviously got his license before I did so he would always drive. Well when he would argue he would start speeding and slam on the breaks at the lights or stops. One time he blew up at me because I was looking out the window and a guy pulled up next to us. He accused me of flirting when my head was looking out the window since we got into the car! I mean the stories just get worse and so did the emotional damage. I finally talked back to him that year. I was tired of it and I went off and walked out of the car. He was so enraged that he ran up to me and grabbed my neck HARD…..I have never imagined him doing that but it was so quick he let go right away and we both cried. I ran away from him and he called me all night apologizing. He never touched me like that again I mean he was not an abuser but I never forgot that and my love for him changed a lot. I stuck with him two more years. We had our ups and downs. You have to understand he was my first EVERYTHING! I mean sexually, emotionally, and even just first to explore going to new places. He knew me like NO one else. So it was so hard to leave when you’re so secure and when you know that someone really loves you THAT much. And josh did love me THAT much. He would always say he would die if I left him. He got my name tattooed on his are during our 6th year together. The tattoo said “ per sempre amore Jeni” I will always love you Jeni in Italian. He was not Italian in fact he was adopted and we think he is polish and Mexican but regardless he wrote it in Italian because he hated my passion for the Latin culture it made him insecure. That damaged us a lot. Well after a lot of other crap and after having alone time in school my senior year and seeing what its like to breathe without Josh and rekindle OLD friendships I had lost because of our relationship, I got the courage to leave. It took two breakups for me to eventually say goodbye. You see we dated 6years NO BREAKS….then I met Jerry..

Pasion scene 2

(In this picture from left to right; Ricardo,Camila,Santiago the protagonists in Pasion)

My real blog it the one under this one but i finally to the video that I originally wanted to show from the same telenovela Pasion.....this is the episode right before the clip in my other blog....In this scene Camila is starting to fall hard for Ricardo. They just got back from a ball and he walked her home but asked if he could come in for a bit and she accepts....they start kissing for the first time and she stops because she thinks she shouldnt be kissing him but he knows that she thinks that so he says "dont be ashamed there is nothing more clean then affection" then Camila says " what if its not affection. what if its lust" and Ricardo says my favorite line " its not lust ,lust only responds to the skin (physically) but this is different, you must leave this to inpire (grow) because it could be the start of something that neither you nor I can imagine" They kiss and he tells her that he has to leave for a bit (pirate things to handle) she asks if it will be dangerous and he giggles saying danger is part of his life...she then says and you like living like that..he says in a more serious tone no and so she asks then why do you do it and he says sometimes in life you ar e pushed into difficukt situations ...the end of the scene he promises her that he will leave his pirate life so he can live a normal life... basically for her..Very romantic scene..ENJOY!!!



PASION