Ok so this blog was inspired by my personal narrative. I am beginning to understand why I am such a romantic. Upon writing my narrative I found it almost impossible to fit 10+ page examples on the different influences love has had on my life into a paragraph. The reason went beyond the fact that I ALWAYS write a lot (Mickey I love you for reading it anyway xo) but its because I am truly passionate about this topic. As you may know its love that made me decide to pursue acting specifically Spanish soaps. Since love is so big to me, RELATIONSHIPS have always had a big impact on the person I am.. There are 3 men who have really helped shape me. So I figured I would write about these men to you all and maybe get some feedback.
The high school sweetheart
Josh and I met when I was in 7th grade . He was a year older and of course that increased my attraction. We had never known each other, not even each other’s names. I had seen him at a big dance we would have once a month that would combine all the schools in the area. When I saw him there I recognized him from seeing him in the hallways because he was the only one with spiky black hair with blond tips. That was how I would always spot him. He was a football player, baseball player and undefeated wrestler and I a cheerleader and volleyball player. Without giving to much detail I subtly would flirt with him on the 3 rare occasions that we actually bumped into each other. One very random day Josh, I later came to find out that was his name, wanted to ask me out! So after school he did the “um I was wondering..do you want to date?” and I did the “Yea sure!” later that day my friend called me to ask if it was ok for Josh to have my number because he wanted to call me haha. We were young and soooo “in love” We did everything together! He became my best friend and the one person I could always count on. I went to all of his game and he went to as many of mine that did not clash with his meets. We were amazingly inseparable for two people that dated without even knowing first names. Watching the notebook sparks that memory of us enjoying eachother because we were that same giddy couple. It lasted for 4 years. After the 4th year Josh started to change. He quit all his sports to do baseball but then didn’t make the team is junior year and gave up on it altogether. He had always been a bit jealous but now he had become the worst jealous guy I have ever met. I would avoid making eye contact with guys to avoid a fight. His fights were horrible he would yell and scream without caring who was around..at our dances, sixflags, bbash is didn’t matter and I would weakly apologize just to get him to stop making a scene. Just to give a small example on the fights. During our homecoming dance I had my mom pin Josh’s flower as I always did because I did not know how nor did I want to poke him. Well later that night after some hardcore dancing my friend came up to me with her date. He asked me to fix the flower because it would not stay on and she couldn’t do it. So I said I would try. OH Josh blew up. Yelling at me for doing this guys flower but not his. He made me cry and the night was ruined. It got progressively worse and he would call me names and punch hole in walls. He obviously got his license before I did so he would always drive. Well when he would argue he would start speeding and slam on the breaks at the lights or stops. One time he blew up at me because I was looking out the window and a guy pulled up next to us. He accused me of flirting when my head was looking out the window since we got into the car! I mean the stories just get worse and so did the emotional damage. I finally talked back to him that year. I was tired of it and I went off and walked out of the car. He was so enraged that he ran up to me and grabbed my neck HARD…..I have never imagined him doing that but it was so quick he let go right away and we both cried. I ran away from him and he called me all night apologizing. He never touched me like that again I mean he was not an abuser but I never forgot that and my love for him changed a lot. I stuck with him two more years. We had our ups and downs. You have to understand he was my first EVERYTHING! I mean sexually, emotionally, and even just first to explore going to new places. He knew me like NO one else. So it was so hard to leave when you’re so secure and when you know that someone really loves you THAT much. And josh did love me THAT much. He would always say he would die if I left him. He got my name tattooed on his are during our 6th year together. The tattoo said “ per sempre amore Jeni” I will always love you Jeni in Italian. He was not Italian in fact he was adopted and we think he is polish and Mexican but regardless he wrote it in Italian because he hated my passion for the Latin culture it made him insecure. That damaged us a lot. Well after a lot of other crap and after having alone time in school my senior year and seeing what its like to breathe without Josh and rekindle OLD friendships I had lost because of our relationship, I got the courage to leave. It took two breakups for me to eventually say goodbye. You see we dated 6years NO BREAKS….then I met Jerry..
The high school sweetheart
Josh and I met when I was in 7th grade . He was a year older and of course that increased my attraction. We had never known each other, not even each other’s names. I had seen him at a big dance we would have once a month that would combine all the schools in the area. When I saw him there I recognized him from seeing him in the hallways because he was the only one with spiky black hair with blond tips. That was how I would always spot him. He was a football player, baseball player and undefeated wrestler and I a cheerleader and volleyball player. Without giving to much detail I subtly would flirt with him on the 3 rare occasions that we actually bumped into each other. One very random day Josh, I later came to find out that was his name, wanted to ask me out! So after school he did the “um I was wondering..do you want to date?” and I did the “Yea sure!” later that day my friend called me to ask if it was ok for Josh to have my number because he wanted to call me haha. We were young and soooo “in love” We did everything together! He became my best friend and the one person I could always count on. I went to all of his game and he went to as many of mine that did not clash with his meets. We were amazingly inseparable for two people that dated without even knowing first names. Watching the notebook sparks that memory of us enjoying eachother because we were that same giddy couple. It lasted for 4 years. After the 4th year Josh started to change. He quit all his sports to do baseball but then didn’t make the team is junior year and gave up on it altogether. He had always been a bit jealous but now he had become the worst jealous guy I have ever met. I would avoid making eye contact with guys to avoid a fight. His fights were horrible he would yell and scream without caring who was around..at our dances, sixflags, bbash is didn’t matter and I would weakly apologize just to get him to stop making a scene. Just to give a small example on the fights. During our homecoming dance I had my mom pin Josh’s flower as I always did because I did not know how nor did I want to poke him. Well later that night after some hardcore dancing my friend came up to me with her date. He asked me to fix the flower because it would not stay on and she couldn’t do it. So I said I would try. OH Josh blew up. Yelling at me for doing this guys flower but not his. He made me cry and the night was ruined. It got progressively worse and he would call me names and punch hole in walls. He obviously got his license before I did so he would always drive. Well when he would argue he would start speeding and slam on the breaks at the lights or stops. One time he blew up at me because I was looking out the window and a guy pulled up next to us. He accused me of flirting when my head was looking out the window since we got into the car! I mean the stories just get worse and so did the emotional damage. I finally talked back to him that year. I was tired of it and I went off and walked out of the car. He was so enraged that he ran up to me and grabbed my neck HARD…..I have never imagined him doing that but it was so quick he let go right away and we both cried. I ran away from him and he called me all night apologizing. He never touched me like that again I mean he was not an abuser but I never forgot that and my love for him changed a lot. I stuck with him two more years. We had our ups and downs. You have to understand he was my first EVERYTHING! I mean sexually, emotionally, and even just first to explore going to new places. He knew me like NO one else. So it was so hard to leave when you’re so secure and when you know that someone really loves you THAT much. And josh did love me THAT much. He would always say he would die if I left him. He got my name tattooed on his are during our 6th year together. The tattoo said “ per sempre amore Jeni” I will always love you Jeni in Italian. He was not Italian in fact he was adopted and we think he is polish and Mexican but regardless he wrote it in Italian because he hated my passion for the Latin culture it made him insecure. That damaged us a lot. Well after a lot of other crap and after having alone time in school my senior year and seeing what its like to breathe without Josh and rekindle OLD friendships I had lost because of our relationship, I got the courage to leave. It took two breakups for me to eventually say goodbye. You see we dated 6years NO BREAKS….then I met Jerry..
God girl I went through almost the same thing my sophmore year of highschool with a guy much like Josh and then not too long ago with another guy similar to him who would punch holes in walls while we fought. I really like your courage to completely put your story on here.
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